How I Turned Setbacks Into Fuel: 8 Leadership Lessons Shaped by Adversity

When I joined Bernie Borges as a guest on the Life Fulfilled Podcast, we talked a lot about resilience. Not the buzzword version—but the lived, earned, sometimes painful version.

If I look back on my life and career—from corporate toxicity to a divorce and nearly three decades of entrepreneurship—there’s a common thread: adversity can either shrink you or sharpen you. I chose to let it sharpen me.

Here are eight leadership lessons, driven by my life story, that allowed me to shape OMI into a force in the B2B data space:

1. “No Excuses” Is a Leadership Discipline

My father, a lieutenant colonel in the Air Force, had a simple philosophy: At the end of the day, look in the mirror and ask yourself if you did your best. No excuses. That mindset significantly impacted the way l approach business. Things go wrong. Campaigns underperform. Clients change direction. Markets shift. As a leader, you don’t get to hide behind explanations—you get to find solutions.

At OMI, that translates into owning outcomes, fixing problems fast, and treating every challenge as solvable. Leadership isn’t about being flawless but about being accountable.

2. Corporate Toxicity Can Be a Catalyst

Corporate toxicity isn’t pleasant, but in my case, it was clarifying. As a teenager, I told my parents I would start my own business. Yet I went the corporate route. If that toxic experience hadn’t pushed me out, I might still be there.

Looking back, it forced alignment between who I was and what I wanted to build. That experience directly influenced how I built OMI:

• No fear-based leadership.
• No silencing voices.
• No command-and-control culture as the default.

I didn’t want anyone working with me to feel the way I once felt. So I designed against it.

3. Command-and-Control Is an Instinct—Not a Strategy

I’ll be honest: I have a command-and-control instinct. Many leaders do. High achievers are wired to believe they’re right. That confidence is often how we build businesses. But left unchecked, it creates disengagement.

I’ve had to work at inclusiveness. It didn’t come naturally. That means:

• Bringing different generations into the conversation.
• Actively asking for input.
• Admitting when I’m wrong.

In my executive peer group, which I’ve been a part of for more than 20 years, I still see leaders struggle with this. Many don’t realize how much their style suppresses innovation. Self-awareness is work, but it pays off in loyalty, performance, and longevity.

4. Self-Awareness Is a Competitive Advantage

During the podcast, Bernie cited research suggesting only 15% of people are sufficiently self-aware. That number shocked me. For me, self-awareness also includes empathy. I can usually tell where someone is mentally when they walk into the office. People have lives outside of work. That perspective has shaped my approach to leadership in these ways:

• If someone needs time, we make room for it.
• If someone is struggling, we address it human-to-human.
• If I’m wrong, I say it.

At the same time, I accept something important: Leaders don’t always get the same grace. When you sign up to lead, you sign up to “be on.” That responsibility doesn’t bother me. It comes with the territory.

5. Turn Lemons Into Leverage

My divorce was painful. It felt like failure at the time. But it also gave me a blank slate. I moved from Houston to Los Angeles and founded the business that became OMI. I’ve always believed in silver linings—sometimes to the annoyance of my own family. But positivity isn’t denial. It’s strategic reframing.

Negativity is everywhere. You don’t need to manufacture more of it. You choose whether a setback becomes a scar or a stepping stone. I’ve consistently chosen the latter.

6. Treat Business Like a Game—But Learn From Every Loss

In sales, you don’t win every deal. If you expect to, entrepreneurship will humble you quickly. Years ago, I read that the most successful salespeople treat it like a game—not because they enjoy losing, but because they understand the math.

You will win. You will lose. The key is the debrief. At OMI, when we lose a deal, we ask:

• Was it pricing?
• Was it positioning?
• Was it the data?
• Did we misread the buyer or fail to define and validate their core problem?

There’s no ego in that conversation—just analysis. That same resilience applies to market shifts. I’ve watched peers pivot entire business models when economic conditions changed. The leaders who survive are the ones who adapt. Resilience isn’t emotional bravado. It’s operational flexibility.  

7. Ambition Requires Drive—and Staying Power

Ambition alone is useless without execution. If you want to build something meaningful, you need drive, stamina, and “stick-to-it-iveness.”

Entrepreneurship is not for people who need constant external validation. You have to create momentum when it’s not obvious. You have to believe in the long game. At OMI, that ambition shows up in how we serve clients:

• We build programs designed to perform.
• We measure, refine, and optimize.
• We take pride in delivering outcomes—not activity.

That achievement creates fulfillment, not just momentary happiness.

8. Legacy Isn’t Someday—It’s Today

When Bernie reframed legacy for me—not as what happens after you’re gone, but the impact you make now—that resonated. Legacy isn’t abstract. It’s the entrepreneurs you mentor, the employees who grow under your leadership, the clients who trust you, and the culture you build intentionally.

I’ve had team members go on to start their own companies. That matters to me. If someone leaves OMI stronger than when they arrived, that’s impact.

Resilience isn’t about bouncing back instantly. It’s about refusing to stay down. Corporate toxicity pushed me into entrepreneurship, divorce pushed me into reinvention, and business losses sharpened my strategy. Every setback became fuel.

The biggest takeaway for me is that leadership isn’t about avoiding adversity. It’s about using it. And if you’re willing to do the work—personally and professionally—you don’t just survive. You build something stronger because of it. How as adversity impacted the way you lead?

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